Blog Posts
Let's Make It a Win - Win Situation
Posted Wednesday, October 28, 2009 at 5:02 PM by Matt Stitt
While I am confident that the 2009 Philadelphia Phillies will be the first National League baseball team to win back-to-back World Series titles since the 1976 Cincinnati Reds, there are a few concerns about the potential upcoming celebrations. Having participated in the celebrations last year, I have seen everything from the good, to the bad, to the ugly in reaction to our beloved team winning it all. Here in the Emergency Services department, I have learned much in preparedness and First Aid, and I have chosen to share my newly acquired wisdom with some of our most dedicated fans by compiling a list of precautionary steps every fan should take this year after we win. These precautions include:
1. Do not attempt to climb any type of posts, including those of street lights and street signs. These posts will be "greased down" in an attempt to keep anyone from climbing up, or tearing them down.
2. Stay as far away from Robinson Luggage as possible. Bonfires are dangerous, not to mention illegal.
3. Avoid throwing objects at the Riot Squad. No matter what the situation, this is never a good idea.
4. Do not flip cars. If you have an intolerable urge to flip a car, please flip your own car and make sure no one is near the car or in it.
5. If you are driving, avoid center city, especially along Broad Street. There is a chance your car could be flipped.
6. Bring ear plugs; there is a chance a souped-up jeep wrangler might cruise down the street and blow its 3 train horns in your direction.
7. Run with the crowd, not away from it.
8. Do not use weapons to shoot any type of projectile into the air, even if it is straight up in the air. Remember what goes up must come down. (It is a simple law of gravity.)
9. Drink plenty of fluids to avoid exhaustion from yelling, screaming, crying, running, high-fiving, fist pumping, towel waving, hugging, jumping, chanting, or any other activity which may require loads of energy.
The Red Cross will be available to respond to any disasters that may occur on that day, as we are every day of the year. However, our response would rather be in the celebration than the destruction of our city. GO PHILLIES!!!
View Comments
Tags: 
